Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened...

Earlier, my sisters and I were joking about that quote. It's so "middle school" which is why were saying it sarcastically. But, as I think about that quote, I also think about my grandfather. The reason being, we went over to his house today to go through his things and begin packing, cleaning, discarding...It was a lot harder than I anticipated it to be. For those of you who don't know, my grandpa (on dad's side) passed away VERY unexpectedly last Thanksgiving day (talk about the crappiest Thanksgiving ever). I miss him. I miss him very much. Today wasn't the first time I had been out to his house since he passed. But you know how there are things about a person that, when you see those things make you smile and think of that person? Well, that's exactly what happened today. I walked into his bedroom and stumbled across a pair of shoes that he wore ALL the time. Then, there was his ring. On his night stand sat his glasses, folded neatly, as if he had just used them last night before turning out the light before going to bed. Those were the "things" that made me smile and think of, and really miss gramps. At that point, I had to step outside and just breathe...and shed a couple of tears. And amidst those tears I thought, "God, why? It's not fair," and "This sucks. I hate death. I hate facing the fact he's really gone," and "The stupid doctors. I feel like they didn't know what they were doing. If only..." and finally all I could really do was sigh, try and shake it all off and walk back into the house.

At this point, that quote somewhat describes where I am these days. I'm trying to focus on all of the amazing memories we had with gramps, the fact that he loved Jesus, was so giving and carrying, the fact that he called his cell phone a "cell-da-phone" or how when he was about to leave our house he would say, "Well, let me get up on down this road," or how much he loved old time gospel music and how when we would all sing together, he would be the loudest one in the room (although he couldn't really carry a tune), stomping his foot on the floor. Lol...oh goodness. All of that makes me "smile because it happened."